Bob explaining the meaning behind and significance of good looks.
Video Transcript
Let's talk about something that's really important to everybody, and I think it means a lot more than people know about, it's a person's looks. Well, I think everybody knows that your looks has a lot to do with emotionality, right? And your emotionality has to do with your ability to have your attention outside and handle feelings of self-consciousness, but let's get really specific about how this works. So in the emotional world there's four different kinds, general types of looks. One type of look has a lot to do with being very beautiful. Another look has to do with having great image, another has to do with persona, incredible persona, and the other is with handsome or pretty. And I think people know that generally people can be like that. And when they're beautiful something happens though, and I think that's the part that people need to know about, 'cause people, I think, general just think that if a person's good-looking they get a lot of attention for being good-looking, and aren't they lucky for being good-looking? I don't think it's so much about looks, and I don't think it's about the geography that you're born with. I think it has to do with how you're being when you're with other people. So there's two sides of this good look thing that people aren't talking about. One is that when a person's good-looking, it has something to do with the way they're being with other people. Well, that means you'd have to, to be with another person, you'd have to be giving them attention. So I don't know if you've noticed, but when somebody wants attention, they're not particularly good-looking, but if they give other people attention it really works well, and so if you wanna be good-looking, why, giving other people attention, does it make you good-looking? Well the reason why is because when you look at another person and you see them as beautiful, then what happens is you reflect that beauty that you see in them. And when you see somebody that has a really great image you see things about them that are fabulous qualities, you reflect that like a mirror as an image to the other person, and when you see somebody else is very special in a particular way. And I don't just mean it could be physical or it could be a personality trait, or their intelligence, or their values, or their spirituality, whatever really is beautiful about that person, then what happens is that it creates an incredible persona in the face. And when you look at another person and you really like them there's just something very deeply satisfying about looking at them. When you have that with another person it shows up as handsome or pretty. So that's really great, so that now people get to experiment and find out that when they're giving other people attention they're gonna become much better looking. And particularly if you give people attention and really see things about them that are attractive qualities, amazing things. There's a second part of this story that I think nobody ever talks about. So a person here, let's say is being beautiful, and so they're gonna get a lot of attention for being beautiful, and they're getting that because they're giving that much attention out and seeing the beauty in others, but what's not knows is that when they reflect your beauty, then what happens is their beauty connects you to being self-affirming, and that's the value. So the reason why the beauty's so valuable, it's not just because it's fantastic to look at, it's because it connects you to feelings of self-affirmation. That's great to know. And when you see somebody that's a great image, what they're doing is that they're looking at you and seeing qualities that you have that are very nicely developed and they're reflecting those qualities. And when they reflect those, it connects the other person to feelings of self-esteem. Again, it's not just the look, it's like, what does that do, what does that connect into the other person? What part of them? And that's what makes it valuable, that self-esteem. And when somebody has a great persona, what happens to them is that they're looking at another person and they see really what's special about that other person. And when they see that, and you're reflecting that specialness, and that specialness becomes like part of the mosaic of your persona, and when you have that and the other person sees that, it connects them to their self-worth. And the last one, when you go deep into a person and find out things that, you really like them, and it could be way beyond any reasonable, reasons you have about that or anything that's just for whatever reason you really like them, that connects them to self-liking, the deepest form of emotionality. So here we have good looks. Now, I describe four general types of good looks, a beautiful look, a image look, a persona look, and a handsome or pretty look, and how those are affecting other people internally when you have those looks. There are 16 genetic personality types, and four of them all kind of fit into those general categories of those kinds of looks, but they specialize. So some people have iridescent looks. Some people are like a jewel. Some people are totally delightful-looking, other people are just sexy, it's unbelievable. Other people are perfect-looking, other people are just angelic or bedazzling. There's a lot of these differentiable qualities for looks, so keep looking and keep seeing what's unbelievably attractive about that person, and then you're reflecting those, you become that that you're looking and giving attention to. And then the magic occurs because then you connect them to feelings of self-affirmation, or self-worth, or self-esteem, or self-liking, and then you get to see that about yourself. It gets returned to yourself, that's how you get your self-worth, that's how you get your self-affirmation, that's how you get your self-liking, you see it in others and you reflect it, and when they reflect, and you connect them to those inside of themselves, that's how you get those qualities. You can't get those inside, you have to go outside of yourself to get those qualities. Now the funny thing about good looks is that most people get pretty self-conscious when they're good-looking. Well, that's why your attention has to go outside when you're self-conscious. Haven't you seen people trip before and they get really embarrassed 'cause they think they're clumsy? Well, clumsy turns into, if you keep your attention outside, becomes graceful. So if you feel self-conscious, just stay outside, let your attention be on whatever you think you're self-conscious about, and you start to get relaxed, otherwise you make yourself too tense. I'm just really glad to be able to tell everybody that after spending years of stretching, and when I found the muscle groups that were associated with different brands of emotionality, how it taught me to keep my attention outside and really value what the beauty meant about another person and what effect another person or you are having on each other in terms of the emotionality. And when you do that enough, another amazing phenomenon occurs, and that is that you start maturing what you really like. So when you first look at somebody you might think, "Oh, that person's really attractive "and I can hardly wait to have sex with them." And if instead of acting on that in that way, but you engage with the person, you might find out that they would be a great friend to have but you don't wanna have physical sex with them. And then you start to realize, "Oh, my God, "there's a maturation in emotionality that has to do with, "intimacy seems to be the foundation "and then it seems to specialize into "a physical form of sex, romantic feelings, "liking feelings." And so that initial hit that you have on people emotionally is always intimacy. And if you think about it that way first and wait and engage with people that way, then what ends up happening is it'll either stay intimate or it will turn into maybe you wanna be physically involved with them sexually, maybe it wants to be a romantic thing, maybe it wants to be a liking thing. So I think knowing this thing about good looks and giving other people attention will allow you to start to mature what it means when you find people attractive, 'cause most people think they very rarely ever see anybody they're attracted to. I mean, that is nonsense. If you develop muscle growth down the front center of your body that's associated with the sexual meridian in Chinese Medicine, and you meet that personality type that's associated with sexuality, they tell you that sexuality is about intimacy first and then it diversifies into other forms, that's a great thing to know about. So have a great time enjoying everybody else's looks, engage with people when you find them attractive, tell 'em what you find attractive about them. You know how proud you are of yourself when you do that and you find somebody attractive, and you say to them, "Wow, you look great." And then an amazing thing happens. When they respond, and only until they respond, do you mature emotionally. You can't do it inside, you have to play in that emotional arena, you have to tell other people when you're attracted to them and what you find attract, in whatever way you do that to them, and when you do that, their response, whether they go, "You're the ugliest thing I've ever seen," or, "Thanks so much, I really like you too," in some ways it doesn't matter their response, but their response causes a chemical change in your body that causes maturation. Think about some looks, have a great time.
